My loyal friend and trusted companion, my shepherd, is hurting a little more. I want to believe she'll get better, but that's not very realistic.
I'm trying very hard to put a percentage number on her 'quality-of-life'. Over 50%? Under 50%?
She's been eating and drinking well? No difficulty in relieving herself.
She's showing me increased discomfort - hard for her to find a comfortable position, keeps asking me to go out - not for a walk but just so she 'can keep an eye on the neighbors and neighborhood'. I oblige her of course. I put her out and watch her closely. She's now comfortable. She's not fidgeting. She's relaxed.
I can't tell if she's in pain, or not. I'm satisfied for the moment. I still have her.
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing , but I do know that even though I need her I will not let her suffer.
2 comments:
Hi,
I've just been through your latest entries on this page regarding your German Shepherd and it so reminded me of my own situation with my dog, a male long-haired Shepherd who is now 13 years of age, that I thought I would leave a comment.
Firstly, by the sounds of it your Shepherd has a significantly better quality of life than mine at the moment. I know that feeling when you watch your companion go about their lives and you try to establish whether you are actually being more cruel by keeping them alive rather than letting them go, helping them to go. It truly is a horrible question to have to ask yourself when you are so emotionally attached to the animal that has become your closest and most loyal friend, your brother, but it breaks my heart when I look into my friends eyes and see that he's in pain despite medication, and is becoming increasingly tired of struggling to do the simplest of things like standing up. His remaining dignity is being further diminished with every passing week and it cannot continue the way it is.
The point has come and gone many times where I've had to think long and hard about whether I'm doing the right thing by keeping him aorund, and up unitl this point I believe I was. However, I feel it's getting closer to the time where I have to say that I've kept him around for as long as justifiably possible, but in the end, I cannot read his thoughts and he cannot tell me how he is feeling. I have to go by what I see. Ultimately it's what's best for him not me, and like you, I cannot and will not let him suffer.
At some point everyone and everything passes away, it's the never ending circle of life and it's perfectly natural. That just leaves us to accept that fact and cherish the remaining time we have with our closest friends and family.
Don't give up too early but don't let it go too far either. I'm sure you'll know deep down inside, whether you want to admit it or not, if and when the time is right to relieve her of her pain, but going by your blog alone, she still seems to be going strong and coping very well.
Lastly, if I may quote the simple words my brother said to me one night as I was desperately attempting to analyse the situation; "If s/he's seems happy with her life, then it's not the right time".
I wish you and your canine companion the best of luck and lots of wonderful memories to share. I know I have many with mine.
Kindest regards,
Skyler Knight
Mr. Knight,
I hope this reaches you. Thank you so much for your supportive and encouraging comments.
You are, indeed, a wonderful writer and your thoughts deeply appreciated.
I hope I can do the right thing.
Don Farber
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