The measure of the 'quality of life' for someone or something (like a dear, dear pet)is virtually impossible.
There is no question that my by beloved and trusted friend and companion -my German shepherd - is suffering right now. The discomfort she's in has grown in the last couple of days.
Her behavior is changing. She seems to race to everything - her food, her bed, her leash, her walk. She appears to be experiencing increased pain from the cancer.
Her movement has become more labored. She now sits almost immediately upon relieving herself.
Her arthritis has seriously hampered her from climbing the four steps back into the house. She has fallen twice.
She now prefers not to come back in the house but rather to lay down in the shade.
I do not know how to be sure of what is happening or what I must do.
It's entirely possible - right now - that I am not properly reciprocating the love and devotion back to her, that she has given me all these years.
I do not like my options. I don't like her options. I don't like the finality.
The damn veterinarians are virtually unanimous on the subject:
our resposibility to our pets is to not let them suffer needlessly.
I need her alive. Her pain and discomfort have really increased.
In my head I know it's time.
My heart is using only 4-letter words.
3 comments:
Thank you for your kind words in your reply to my other post, but there really is no need for thanks. It is the least I can do for a fellow dog lover who is going through a tough period in his life.
I don't know how you're coping at the moment apart from what is mentioned in your latest entries, hopefully you are well, but you have probably arrived at that point now where you hope that she goes peacefully and naturally in her sleep, and that you will not be forced to call in the vet for assistance in that process. I truly hope you do not have to go through that experience as it will probably be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do in your life. I wish those words weren't so harsh but unfortunately, there is no light way to put it.
If only there was something I could say that would at least somewhat prepare you for the loss of a very close family member, but in truth, there is nothing that can be said or done, and no amount of preparation will ever be enough. You can only do your best to be as sure as possible that you are making the right decision.
Although the initial loss and the following pain that you find yourself in are seemingly unparalleled, I can say that it gets a little better as time goes by, and at some point the time arrives where all of the wonderful memories that you shared with your companion start to assume the more dominant position in your mind and heart. I know that this sounds very feeble for words of comfort at this point, but when the time comes you will discover that it is nothing but the truth.
As you may have guessed by now, I'm speaking from experience. It's now been a week and one day since I had to have my friend euthanised, the day after I posted my first comment in your blog.
Nevertheless, after all is said and done, I can only say that it was the right thing to do as I could not allow him to suffer. He is now in a much better place and I look foward to embracing him once again when I pass away.
Finally, I find myself unable to mourn his death itself as it was undeniably his time to go, but only the lack of his presence and company as that is what causes me the most pain.
I wish you and your canine companion all the best and I shall pray that when it is her time to go, she will go peacfully and naturally in her sleep. Whatever the outcome may be, I have no doubt whatsoever that your great love for her will not allow you to make a false decision, even if it causes you grief. That is true compassion. That is true love.
Kindest regards,
Skyler Knight
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