The measure of the 'quality of life' for someone or something (like a dear, dear pet)is virtually impossible.
There is no question that my by beloved and trusted friend and companion -my German shepherd - is suffering right now. The discomfort she's in has grown in the last couple of days.
Her behavior is changing. She seems to race to everything - her food, her bed, her leash, her walk. She appears to be experiencing increased pain from the cancer.
Her movement has become more labored. She now sits almost immediately upon relieving herself.
Her arthritis has seriously hampered her from climbing the four steps back into the house. She has fallen twice.
She now prefers not to come back in the house but rather to lay down in the shade.
I do not know how to be sure of what is happening or what I must do.
It's entirely possible - right now - that I am not properly reciprocating the love and devotion back to her, that she has given me all these years.
I do not like my options. I don't like her options. I don't like the finality.
The damn veterinarians are virtually unanimous on the subject:
our resposibility to our pets is to not let them suffer needlessly.
I need her alive. Her pain and discomfort have really increased.
In my head I know it's time.
My heart is using only 4-letter words.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
'Quality of Life' - a Cruel Gauge for a Beloved Dog
Monday, May 26, 2008
My Loyal and Trusted Friend - my Shepherd
Yes, she's ill. No, she can't do the things she used to do.
Yes, Doctor, veterinarion, her quality-of-life has diminished. No, Dr, I don't think, I don't want to think it's less than 50%. That's your benchmark, Dr. It's not mine.
My guideline, Dr., is while there's life there's hope.
My bench-mark, Dr., is IS SHE SUFFERING?
Yes, she is hurting - no question.
But she's eating, walking, relieving herself and still comes running to me for her treats.
OK - maybe she is suffering a little. So is every single living creature.
The QUESTION is to WHAT DEGREE?
How the hell do I know? I'm not God.
I'm just another dumb dog lover.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Quality-of-Life, My Shepherd
My loyal friend and trusted companion, my shepherd, is hurting a little more. I want to believe she'll get better, but that's not very realistic.
I'm trying very hard to put a percentage number on her 'quality-of-life'. Over 50%? Under 50%?
She's been eating and drinking well? No difficulty in relieving herself.
She's showing me increased discomfort - hard for her to find a comfortable position, keeps asking me to go out - not for a walk but just so she 'can keep an eye on the neighbors and neighborhood'. I oblige her of course. I put her out and watch her closely. She's now comfortable. She's not fidgeting. She's relaxed.
I can't tell if she's in pain, or not. I'm satisfied for the moment. I still have her.
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing , but I do know that even though I need her I will not let her suffer.
Friday, May 16, 2008
My Beloved Shepherd has Repeat Performance
I'm repeating an entry of about a week ago because the exact same thing happened.
I took my dear dog back to the vet for another 'unscheduled' visit.
I really wanted to determine if the vet could tell me, or even tell herself, how much, or what degree of pain the dog is in.My beloved German shepherd has advanced cancer; besides the serious arthritis. She has been on pain medication and steroids for the last few weeks. That was my coming home present when I went to a family function some weeks back, and got her home from the kennel.
The examination was thorough, the Doctor, at my request, had her assistant (a veterinarian technician or vet tech) take the dog for a little walk around the grounds to get an idea of her 'quality-of-life', and determine if the earlier prognosis of about 6 good months was on track.
Understanding that illness in human or animal can take a turn for the worse at any moment, I asked both vet tech and doctor (who have had hundreds of such cases) just
"Right now, from your examination and your hands-on observation, is this dog suffering, has her quality-of-life so deteriorated, that we must consider euthanasia"
The answer was a categorical no.
Tomorrow is another day. I'll keep doing all I can.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
She's my Dog, My Friend, My Companion
My dog, my true friend, my loyal companion, my German shepherd still fights on.
She didn't show much pain or discomfort, today. I hope I'm being objective. I hope that the reason I don't see too much pain or discomfort is not because I don't want to see it.
She's eating very well. And of course - what goes in, goes around, comes out after a while. So we continue on our more frequent, slow and steady walks. We don't walk too far. She rests after a few hundred yards.
She did spot a deer and jumped right up and almost tore my arm off when she leaped to chase after it. That was good to see. But she did settle right down, and we continued our short excursion.
It's good to walk with her.
She's not as vigorous as she was but I think she's got a hell of a lot of life left in her.
I'll miss her like crazy when she's gone.
She's my dog, my true friend, my loyal companion, my German shepherd.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Quality Time Together, Me + My Shepherd
Having decided to spend as much time with my beloved shepherd as possible, and, of course, to make her last months (I hope she has that much time) and weeks as comfortable as I can, I've been walking her quite frequently.
Actually the steroids have made her bladder hyper-active so I always carry a bottle of water and small water-bowl. She has been drinking more than usual. We walk slowly, taking our time, going over and over again, some much travelled ground.
A dog is a dog. They follow their noses. (Yes - that's where that cliche came from.) They sniff and they hunt. Shepherds are pretty good at it. When she gets tired and sits, so do I, for as long as she needs to rest before continuing.
She feels better when we're out on one of our trails. How do I know? During the rest period, she repeatedly licks my hand and face.
That's quality time together with my dog.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Courageous Shepherd Fights On
I took my dear dog back to the vet for an 'unscheduled' visit. I needed the re-assurance.
I really wanted to determine if the vet could tell me, or even tell herself, how much, or what degree of pain the dog is in.
My beloved German shepherd has advanced cancer; besides the serious arthritis. She has been on pain medication and steroids for the last few weeks.
That was my coming home present when I went to a family function some weeks back, and got her home from the kennel.
The examination was thorough, the Doctor, at my request, had her assistant (a veterinarian technician or vet tech) take the dog for a little walk around the grounds to get an idea of her 'quality-of-life', and determine if the earlier prognosis of about 6 good months was on track.
Understanding that illness in human or animal can take a turn for the worse at any moment, I asked both vet tech and doctor (who have had hundreds of such cases) just one question:
"Right now, from your examination and your hands-on observation, is this dog suffering, has her quality-of-life so deteriorated, that we must consider euthanasia"
The answer was a categorical no. Tomorrow is another day.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Pick your Head Up - Keep on Going -Forward
Still another thing I have learned from my dear German shepherd is to keep your head up, and keep moving - forward. Yes, she has slowed up,considerably, the arthritis also causing her to stop and rest several times during our walks, but once she gets going again, it's full throttle each time.
I usually let her sniff the ground for a while, and I even let her do her zig-zag routine more often than I used to (I had stopped that because I was tripping over her to many times). But as soon as she picks up an interesting scent she's off and pulling with the same old strength she's always had. Perhaps I indulge her more than I should, but it's great for me to see her acting just like any good dog should.
Does she ever look back? Frequently, but isn't that a natural, feral instinct to be sure that any potential game doesn't cross behind her, and that any predator can't attack from the rear?
As I see it, yes - she's in pain from time to time (possibly more-so when her medication has worn off and it's getting near the time for her next dose) but her quality-of-life is a hell of a lot higher on the good scale, than the pain that does beset her.
Boy, I wish I could measure that pain. When she sees another dog, as she did this morning -before she got her first medication for the day - she almost pulled my arm off trying to get to it.
She just picked her head up, and she charged forward.
Euthanasia - no damn way.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Mans' Best Friend
Yes, a dog is man's best friend for one pretty damn good, all-encompassing reason: and that is that there are probably hundreds of reasons; just a few;
· unwavering loyalty,
· total trust,
· consummate courage,
· forgiveness of your foibles,
· patience,
· perseverance,
· exercise.
As I try to make sure my German Shepherd gets as much exercise as possible, I, too, am getting some much needed physical activity. Whether walking between 1 and 2 miles every day or throwing a frisbee or branch for her to fetch, it helps me as much as her.
Right now, it keeps all her bodily functions running properly, her appetite and her excretions. She's slowed down a lot, but so have I. Her arthritis hampers her somewhat but she still wants to keep on walking, and therefore keep on going.
She's my best friend. I hope I'm hers in return.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Ask Not What Your Dog Can Do For You. Ask What You Can Do For Your Dog.
Whether you now have a dog, or you are thinking and planning to adopt one, PLEASE do not ask what your dog can do for you. Ask only what you can do for your dog. At one time I might have been reluctant to admit that I didn't put sufficient time into her training as I should have, but now, seeing my dear German Shepherd ill, I realize I could have been a much better and more responsible owner.
I thought I spent a considerable amount of time in her training, i.e. -stay, sit, down, heel, etc. We took minimum half-mile walks at least three times every day. Early on I taught her how to be gentle and submissive to my granddaughter, and to this day the shepherd goes to her to lick her face and be petted in return - as sick a dog as she is.
But I did not persevere and show sufficient patience in so many other areas. I could have taught her not to charge any other animal she saw - if I devoted the time. I could have taught her not to run after any deer she saw, disappearing for well over an hour on at least two occasions.
My point is -whatever breed or mixture of breeds your dog is - take the time - show the patience - persevere, with love and kindness and repetition, with what you want your pet to do. I assure you will be rewarded at least ten-fold for your efforts.
Even with my deficiencies in the time I devoted to her training, I am getting back so much more in the love, friendship, companionship and loyalty she gives me all day long, every day, week and month.
May it happen to you!